Reflections of Her Soul ~ Nagareboshi e
by Marina1
Summary: Rated PG for Yaten's dirty mouth and a slightly explict metaphor. This fic is my tribute to Niiyama Shiho, who died on February 6th, 2000. A speculation about how the first few months of life on earth went for the Sailor Starlights...


Notes: Hello everyone!! This is my first completed Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon fic!! Not my first fic mind you, but my first completed one. I've also written two Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne fics, and I'm currently writing a Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon series called "Chibiusa's Secret Garden"(although this has been on hold for a long time *sweatdrop*). Anyway, this fic is an important one to me, because I got it into my head to write it as a dedication to Niiyama Shiho, Seiya Kou/Sailorstarfighter's seiyuu (voice actor), who died last February. I was saddened by her death, as I adore Seiya's voice and character, and I wouldn't have loved Seiya so much if Niiyama-san hadn't put such soul into him/her. So this is why this fic exists, and why it's(mostly) about Seiya. It's also here because I like writing Threelights/Starlights(I always have!!) because they're such entertaining characters. The timeline of the fic takes place in between the Nehellenia arc of Stars and the Galaxia arc, and ties into the first episode of the Galaxia arc at the end. And I also wanted to warn you that I use a ton of Japanese in this fic(because I can :-p). I inserted a translation glossary at the end of the fic, but if you still find the Japanese distracting, email me, and I'll send you a version that doesn't include Japanese. I hope you enjoy the fic. Oh, and please check out the notes at the end of the fic where I explain myself (as in, various bits of symbolism that I use. I love symbolism!!) As always, rate and review!!  
(Additional Notes: I included a verse of "Nagareboshi e" in my fic. Please check the end of the translation glossary for the translation.)  
  
Disclaimers: I don't own Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon. That was created by the talented Takeuchi Naoko. Other things that I borrow belong to their respective owners(see notes at the end). I'm not making money off of this, so please don't sue me. The only thing that I own that is of any value is my insanity. I don't think anyone wants that...  
  
Reflections of Her Soul ~ Nagareboshi e(To a Shooting Star)  
by Marina  
  
"You are going first, Seiya. There's no argument."  
  
Three figures stood outside a building in a dark alleyway, two of them clearly arguing, the other trying to stay out of it.  
  
"Iie. You go first, Yaten."  
  
"Why should I have to go first?" Yaten complained, "Just because you're bigger than me."  
  
"And how old are you turning this year, Yaten? Four?" Seiya snickered.  
  
"All right. I'll go first if it will keep you both quiet." Taiki said in her serious voice. She turned and walked behind the dumpster.  
  
"Okay then. I guess we wait." Seiya said, leaning back against the brick wall of the building. A matter of seconds later, Taiki came back out from behind the dumpster.  
  
"Oi, Taiki, I thought you were going to do it." Seiya said, puzzled.  
  
"I did."  
  
Yaten snickered, "What changed?"  
  
Taiki's face scrunched up in consternation, "Would you like for me to show you?"  
  
The other two began to back away, holding their hands out in front of them. "Iya iya, that's okay Taiki." Seiya stuttered nervously. "So Yaten. Now you go."  
  
Yaten huffed and stomped behind the dumpster. When he came out a few seconds later, Seiya hid her twitching mouth behind her hand, and Taiki simply stared coldly, raising an eyebrow skeptically.  
  
"What changed?" he said sarcastically.  
  
"It's NOT funny!!" Yaten hissed.  
  
"My turn!! I don't want to be the only female in a male catfight." she said before disappearing behind the dumpster.  
  
"Great. I still look like a girl, and you've ALWAYS looked like a guy, Taiki. What's the point? Neither of us needed this stupid power." Yaten grouched as he picked at the mortar between the bricks in the wall.  
  
"Well, in case we get swamped by undercover tabloid reporters, at least there won't be any doubt that we are male." Taiki said, simply stating the facts.  
  
Yaten banged his head against the wall.  
  
The Seiya sauntered out from behind the dumpsters, brushing past his adopted siblings, heading for the front of the building.  
  
"Come on you two!! Let's go make idols of ourselves!!" he said care-freely, turning back around to smile at them.  
  
Taiki and Yaten stared after him in disbelief at his appearance.  
  
"That's Seiya for you, " Yaten said matter-of-factly, crossing his arms, "The only true transvestite among us. No matter what, he looks like both."  
  
  
The blonde's red bow bounced as she thrust a last lighting rod into the back of the equipment truck. Her duty done for the day, she smiled happily at all the sights she had witnessed at the male idol audition. She had definitely not made a mistake in coming. There she was, one of the only girls present surrounded by cute guys vying for an idol spot.  
  
Perfect.  
  
"Arigatou!!" yelled the driver of the truck as he hopped in the cab and started the engine.  
  
"No problem!!" she answered in English, saluting cutely. She knew if they ever needed her help again, they would call her. She was definitely climbing the ladder.  
  
She started off down the street, skipping along, thinking about all the single and group entries she had seen, trying to predict which ones were going to get callbacks. There was one group in particular that she KNEW, instinctively as an idol watcher, were going to definitely get a callback. And possibly much more.  
  
"Those three are going to be big." she said to herself. "I have to keep an eye on them."  
  
She continued on her way home, humming a little tune, picturing herself singing with a group of guys like that.  
  
"Hayaku Artemis!! Dinner time!!" she yelled back to the white cat that was following her.  
  
  
A man yawned and stretched at his desk as he checked the last of the notes he'd taken from the audition that day.  
  
"Those last three. That last group was incredible!! It was like they were singing with their hearts instead of their voices. Like they were trying to say something that one will never hear no matter how much one listens. Something about them is special."  
  
He reached over and picked up the phone on his desk.  
  
"Akiyama-san, I want you to call that last group and tell them to come in tomorrow morning. I want another look at them." he said.  
  
"Hai, Fuyuboshi-san. Any particular time?"  
  
"Iya. Tell them to be spontaneous. That's the best way to be."  
  
  
"Spontaneous!? What the hell does that mean!?" Yaten exploded as the trio walked down the street towards the music studio.  
  
"Spontaneous means something happening without apparent external cause; self-generated..."  
  
"Shut up Taiki."  
  
"Anyway, " Seiya said, "I think he wanted us to be spontaneous because he's testing us or something."  
  
"Testing us for what? Whether or not we can figure out when to show up on our own?" Yaten grumbled.  
  
Seiya shrugged.  
  
Weeks later...  
  
Everyone in school was talking. That new group. Those three. The words were on everyone's lips.  
  
Threelights.  
  
Any one who was any body was listening to them. Their debut single "Todokanu Omoi ~ My Friend's Love" was a huge success. It took up permanent residence in many girls' CD players, compact or otherwise.  
  
The group had somehow become an overnight success.  
  
If you asked the ordinary girl why she liked Threelights, her initial answer would be, "Because they're totally cool!!"  
  
She then would probably list off all the reasons why each member was cool, individually. And then, she would probably end her tirade with, "And their song... there's just something about it..."  
  
And there was just something about their songs. No one could figure out what it was. There was something mysterious about them. And it was totally tantalizing...   
  
"Maybe they've got a secret, and they're somehow putting it into their songs..." said one girl as she sat, eating her bento.  
  
"Now how would they do that?" sniffed another.  
  
"I don't know." said a third, "Maybe the lyrics are like, secret code words or something."  
  
"You mean like a message for someone?"  
  
"Exactly."  
  
"I wonder who it's for?"  
  
"Wai... I wish it were for me!!"  
  
"I wonder what the message is?"  
  
"I don't know!! Sometimes, when I listen to it, I feel like there are feelings attached to the song. Like gentle love."  
  
"A message of love!?"  
  
"For who!?"  
  
"Who knows!!"  
  
"Do they have girlfriends?"  
  
"Iie, my magazine says they're single!!"  
  
"WAI!! Really!? I would LOVE to date one of them!! Or all three!!"  
  
Teenage girls are more intuitive than they look.  
  
Threelights knew this.  
  
They were counting on it, in fact.  
  
They didn't know what form they one they sought would take...  
  
Seiya threw himself down on a couch and shuddered as he sighed, burying his face in his hands. He felt like he was going to have a nervous break-down.  
  
And it was only their first live appearance.  
  
There had been too many girls. Too many screaming, screaming girls. Yaten was in the bathroom, taking headache pills, and Taiki had gone right to bed without reading, which was unusual for him.  
  
Seiya didn't blame either of them.  
  
He flopped over, laying his head on one arm. All three of them had been lucky to retain their composure. Their manager's secretary, Akiyama, had warned them about the huge crowd.  
  
But they still hadn't been prepared for it.  
  
How could those girls just scream so much? It was a small wonder no one had gone deaf or blown their vocal cords out. Had they heard anything? If She had been there, would she have been able to hear them?  
  
Seiya chuckled suddenly as he tried to picture her screaming fanatically like one of them. She never would. She wasn't like that. Seiya's face softened as he remembered her, serene, but not boring at all. She did have her quiet, twisted sense of humor as well. Her musical laugh rang through his head for an instant, then faded.  
  
How he missed her...  
  
He sat back up as he heard Yaten coming out of the bathroom. Yaten had dropped her male guise for the moment, and was holding a hand to her head.  
  
"Kami-sama..." she muttered.  
  
"Yaten, how many of those pills did you take?"  
  
Yaten spun around, an angry glare on her face.  
  
"Three. And that's not funny..." she added menacingly.  
  
"What? I was serious. I'D want to kill myself after THAT TOO if I were you." Seiya said, a look of concern crossing his face.  
  
Yaten's face scrunched up in pain, then she turned and walked into her room and slammed the door.   
  
"WHAT?" Seiya called after her.  
  
Of course, there was no answer.  
  
"Fine. Be that way." he muttered to her door.  
  
Near the couch was his guitar. He reached over and picked it up, positioning it in his lap. He plucked at the strings randomly, trying to feel something in the music. He was suddenly in the mood to write another song. This time, however, there would be no way that She would miss it. This song, instead of just containing their feelings, would also hold important meanings within the lyrics, he decided. There were risks involved with that, but he knew he could get that around the other two if he did things right.  
  
Now, what to start with? What did he remember best about her?  
  
"That scent..." he muttered to himself. "I will always remember that scent. The scent of Kinmokusei. I could follow that scent always..." he paused for a moment to think it over.  
  
"Kanpeki."  
  
  
Taiki got up at 6, like she always did. She also rarely slept in her male form. She liked to be herself at night, not the idol that everyone loved. Especially after last night. It had only been their first live appearance and all those girls...  
  
She hated to think what would happen when they truly became securely established. All the privacy and quiet moments she valued would be gone.   
  
She pulled on a gray bathrobe and tied the belt around her waist. Yawning and stretching, she wandered out of her room, down the hallway and into the living room, making her way to the kitchen. But she stopped in the living room when she saw Seiya laying asleep on the couch, still in his male form, holding a piece of paper in one hand, and cradling his guitar in the other.  
  
He looked exactly like an exhausted child.  
  
Taiki allowed herself a slight chuckle. Seiya could sleep anywhere during anything. She'd always been able to do it. Reaching out, Taiki removed the guitar and the piece of paper from Seiya's hands, and pulled down a coverlet from the top of the couch, draping it over him.  
  
She leaned the guitar against the wall near the couch, where it always was, and was about to set the piece of paper on the table when she saw what it was and stopped herself. It was music paper. Seiya had been writing a song of some sort. Suddenly interested, she looked it over, and was surprised a little by the lyrics:  
  
"Kimi no kaori zutto sagashiteru  
Boku no koe wo todoke aishiteru  
Ima doko ni iru no Moonlight Princess  
Boku no Princess  
Kotaete Answer for me   
Ima sugu Answer for me"  
  
It was beautiful in it's own way. Seiya had written some truly good lyrics that seemed more like poetry than lyrics for a pop song.  
  
'Sugoi.' Taiki thought. She knew that Seiya was good at writing lyrics, but she had always considered Seiya to be the lowbrow of the group. But this wasn't just lyrics!! It was true poetry!!  
  
The words...  
  
She had been too sleepy an instant earlier to register the words in her mind. But now she saw what they truly were.  
  
This was a song for their princess!! It even said so quite obviously!!  
  
What was Seiya thinking!?  
  
They couldn't be this obvious. They just couldn't. What if their enemies heard the song and figured it out? It would be the end of everything...  
  
  
The woman shut her violin case carefully, sealing its music away for the time being. Brushing her fingers lightly through her aqua-colored hair, she picked up the case and started out of her dressing room, down the hallway, out towards the entrance.  
  
Another woman with short, sandy blonde hair was waiting for her there.  
  
"So, what did they call you about?" she asked as they headed out to her car.  
  
The aqua-haired one swished her hair over her shoulder, "They wanted to ask me if I was interested in playing a joint-concert with a pop band."  
  
"Pop band?" asked the other woman, "Sounds like an awfully sharp contrast to me."  
  
She shrugged, "I hear the group is very good. They're an all-male group called 'Threelights'."  
  
The sandy-haired woman frowned, "'All-male' huh. Hmm..."  
  
The aqua-haired woman chuckled, "Is that a jealous 'Hmm...'?"  
  
"No, I just don't want any of them getting TOO taken with your music."  
  
"That's called jealousy."  
  
Their gentle banter continued as they climbed into the taller woman's car and drove away as the sun set over Tokyo...  
  
  
"THIS IS INSANE!!" shouted Yaten.  
  
"It is not!!" shouted Seiya back.  
  
"Seiya, with those lyrics, you're practically screaming 'HERE WE ARE!!' to our enemies!! They're here you know!! I can feel them!! And I KNOW they're still looking for Her!!"  
  
"They haven't made a move yet." Seiya leaned back against the couch, almost pouting.  
  
"Seiya, you are supposed to be our leader. Why can't you see that that song is a threat to our mission?" Yaten said, trying to bring his voice down to a civil level, and instead it turned into something of a growl.  
  
"But what if we're being too subtle?"  
  
"You saw those girls last night. They weren't even listening. Listening is going to do us no good. We just have to try to send our feelings harder."  
  
"But what if one of them WAS listening, but couldn't understand?"  
  
"Fine Seiya." Yaten stood up, knocking the coffee table back as he did so, "Do what you want. You ARE in charge." He walked down the hall, back to his room, then turned around, "But you'll get no help from me."   
  
With that, he slammed the door to his room.  
  
"I don't NEED YOUR help!!" Seiya shouted back...  
  
But writer's block is a cruel thing.  
  
It strikes at the most inconvenient times...  
  
Seiya sat in the living room, straining his brain over his song for the tenth time that week, trying to get just a little further with it. He worked on it whenever he had a spare moment, which, in truth, were becoming fewer and fewer. A guest appearance here and a photo shoot there were devouring his 'me-time' like ravenous wolves.  
  
It's a small wonder Taiki hasn't gone insane, Seiya thought to himself.  
  
A knock sounded at the door of their apartment.  
  
"It's probably the agent again." muttered Seiya, "God knows what he wants this time..."  
  
But when Seiya opened the door, he was surprised to discover a girl on their doorstep. The girl was fairly short, a few inches shorter than himself. She had long black hair that she wore straight, and deep, red eyes. Then Seiya recognized her as one of the lyricists for their agency.  
  
"Oh, hi. What can I do for you, Haruzuki-san?"  
  
She seemed surprised that he remembered her, "Oh, um, hi Seiya-san. There was word around that you mentioned to someone that you were having problems with one of your songs. I thought I would come by and help."  
  
"Hontou? Arigatou!! Come on in!!" he said as he stepped back from the door to allow her entry. "And please, just call me Seiya."  
  
She smiled as she walked past him, "Well, then you can just call me Himeko."  
  
Some meetings are fateful...  
  
This was one of these...  
  
Seiya and Himeko spend a lot of time together after that, working on his song. Whenever Seiya had a free moment to work on the song, Himeko was always there too.  
  
One time, during one of their work sessions, Himeko asked Seiya, "Who is this song for?"  
  
"Nani." Seiya muttered distractedly, staring at the music sheet.  
  
"Who is this song for?"  
  
Seiya raised his head then, as his brain processed what she had asked, "What makes you ask that?"  
  
"The way the lyrics are. The way you seem to be remembering someone when you come up with the words. And there seems to be some sort of message in the song, like in all of your songs. Who is this song for?" she asked, staring at him with a puzzled look on her face.  
  
He stared back for a moment, studying her red eyes. Then he looked away.   
  
He had just realized something...  
  
Something about her was very familiar...  
  
"It's for my Princess." he answered distractedly, then said no more on the subject as he went back to writing on his music paper.  
  
"Princess?" she asked, then decided not to press the subject further.  
  
It may have been something she didn't want to know...  
  
And soon, they were spending more and more time together outside of working on the song...  
  
"So, what's up for tomorrow?" Yaten asked Taiki as he made coffee.  
  
"Photo shoot, autograph signing, seeing a company about a commercial deal, and I'm going to look into schools to enroll in." Taiki rattled of the list with cool efficiency.  
  
Yaten recoiled, "School? What are you doing THAT for?"  
  
"We need to do it to keep up our image. Most normal Terrans our age attend school."  
  
"But I don't WANT to go back to school." Yaten whined.  
  
Their conversation was interrupted by Seiya dashing through the kitchen, and grabbing his coat off of the sofa.  
  
"Where are you going, Seiya?" Yaten asked, crossing his arms over his chest.  
  
"Meeting with Himeko at the coffee shop." Seiya answered distractedly as he went through his pockets.  
  
"Ah. Another 'date' I see." Yaten chucked into his hand.  
  
"We are not dating."   
  
"Seiya, you meet the girl almost every day of the week. What is YOUR definition of 'dating'?" Taiki inquired while digging through the cabinets in his search for sugar.  
  
"We are not dating."  
  
Yaten waved a hand of dismissal at Seiya, "Hai hai, Seiya. Whatever. Have fun on your date. Oh, and while you're doing that, don't forget we have a mission to accomplish here." he ended sharply.  
  
"Wakatteiru yo. Jaa!!" Seiya said in his I-can't-hear-you voice as he ran out the door.  
  
Yaten felt like banging his head against the counter, "We are NEVER going to find Her. And if we ever do, Seiya isn't getting ANY of the credit."  
  
  
The "date" was really just a meeting for coffee to discuss the song a little more.   
  
But once Seiya got there, and after talking with Himeko for a few minutes, he realized that there was something else on her mind.  
  
"What's up with you today?" he asked, "You're being really quiet."  
  
She stared at her coffee for about a minute, then looked up and smiled, "Nandemonai yo."  
  
Seiya shifted uncomfortably, "Okay then. So..." he trailed off, suddenly unsure of what to say.  
  
An odd, awkward silence stretched between them...  
  
Abruptly, Himeko reached across the table to get some cream for her coffee, and overturned her cup, spilling the strong, black liquid. It splashed along the table into Seiya's lap.  
  
They both leaped up hastily, Himeko apologizing profusely, Seiya waving it off. They both reached for napkins at the same time, and their hands touched...  
  
Seiya's eyes widened, and he stared at their hands for a long moment...  
  
Then he looked up at Himeko, and saw her staring at him with tears brimming in her ruby colored eyes...  
  
"Why...? WHY CAN'T YOU NOTICE!?" she cried at him, wrenching her hand away from his. "Why can't you notice how I feel about you Seiya!!"  
  
"Himeko!!" Seiya whispered.  
  
"Suki yo!! Daisuki yo!!" she cried as tears spilled down her cheeks. She leaned forward, as if she wanted to touch him, but as they were separated by a table, she ended with sitting down and crying into her hands.  
  
She felt a gentle touch on her shoulder a moment later, and lowered her hands to see Seiya kneeling before her with a sad smile on his face and a napkin in his hand. He dabbed at her face with the napkin. "Daijoubu Himeko?"  
  
She nodded as she stared at him. "Mm hmm. Daijoubu. I'm sorry about the outburst. Gomen nasai..."  
  
"Ii da na." he said quietly, "But, listen, Himeko. I'm sorry, but... I'm sorry about not noticing your feelings, I mean. But I can't return them. There is..." he paused, trying to decide what to say, "There is someone else who is most important to me right now..."  
  
"Your 'Princess'?" Himeko interrupted bitterly.  
  
Seiya bowed his head and was silent for a long moment. Finally, he answered, "Hai."  
  
Suddenly, Himeko jumped to her feet and pushed Seiya out of her way. He landed on his back as she ran for the door.  
  
"Himeko!!" he shouted after her.  
  
He sat up in time to see her turn around and shout at him before she ran out the door, "I wish I'd never helped you write that stupid song!!"  
  
And then she was gone. All there was left was the closing door and the darkness of a rainstorm beyond it...  
  
And so a fool did a foolish thing...  
  
Hurting someone unintentionally can make a person a little crazy sometimes...  
  
And the craziness makes sitting outside in the rain all night look like a good idea...  
  
"HE STAYED OUT ALL NIGHT!?" Yaten shrieked over his breakfast coffee.  
  
"He didn't come home at all. I didn't hear him come in, and his bed hasn't been slept in." Taiki answered, just as concerned.  
  
"Just what does he think he's doing...?" Yaten trailed off for a moment as he thought, frowning suddenly, "He better not have done what I'm starting to THINK he did last night... If he's still with that girl..."  
  
"Maybe we should call her, just to make sure." Taiki suggested, pushing his chair back from the table to get up and retrieve the phone.  
  
"What if the Enemy...?" Yaten was interrupted by the phone coming to life in Taiki's hand. Taiki looked startled as the phone rang as he picked it up. Hesitantly, he pressed the "talk" button.  
  
"Moshi moshi..."  
  
"Taiki-san!! Is that you? Oh thank goodness!!"  
  
"Haruzuki Himeko-san?"  
  
"Hai. Listen, I need your help. I found Seiya outside my house this morning. He was drenched and unconscious... and I think he has a fever!! I think he stayed outside in the rainstorm all night!! Onegai... onegai!! Come over and help me!!"  
  
"Hai. We'll be right over. Keep him warm." Taiki said seriously before deactivating the phone.  
  
"What happened?" Yaten asked, getting out of his chair and reaching for his jacket.  
  
"He stayed outside Haruzuki-san's house all night."  
  
"In the RAIN!? BAKA!!" Yaten shouted as the two ran out the door together...  
  
  
Seiya was put down by a raging fever for several days. After taking him back to their apartment, Taiki and Yaten took care of him as best they could, with Yaten alternately scolding and worrying about him.  
  
Himeko came over regularly too, to help care for him. She would mop his burning forehead with a cool, damp cloth, and talk to him. She would try to get him to eat.  
  
But he didn't understand much of what was said to him during this time. Taiki said that the fever had made him a little delirious, and he would suddenly lapse into unconsciousness for no reason. When he was awake, he would often say things that made no sense... to Himeko anyway...  
  
But Taiki and Yaten knew, that in his delirium, he was reliving the tragedy of their planet.  
  
The sickness, compounded with the emotional stress that Seiya had been under since they left their destroyed world(which he had hidden from the rest of the world with a smile), had brought a kind of insanity over him, and he kept seeing the same images over and over and over again...  
  
Death...  
  
Destruction...  
  
Her...  
  
Seiya saw Her the most often out of all the things he kept seeing. Visions of her long, flowing red hair... ruby eyes... her melodic voice... graceful, white arms... a red flame... fire... descending into darkness... over and over and over... never ending, never beginning... and it was so hot...  
  
Once, when Seiya opened his eyes, he saw Her leaning over him, her smooth, gentle hands were holding a wet cloth that she was wiping the sweat from his hot forehead with. And she was speaking to him in her wonderful voice, her long hair flowing over her shoulders...  
Her ruby eyes... staring into his...  
  
"We've... we've found you at last... Finally!! Finally you're back with us!!"  
  
He reached up and took her face into his hands...  
  
"How I've missed you..."  
  
He pulled her face down to his...  
  
"Princess..." he whispered breathlessly...  
  
Their lips met...  
  
Seiya kissed her hungrily. He wanted her to know how much he had missed her... he wanted her to know...  
  
That he loved her...  
  
He felt something cold hit his cheek...  
  
A drop of water... ?  
  
A tear... ?  
  
Then blackness overtook him again. But not the fevered, heavy blackness that had stolen him the last few days, but a peaceful, cool darkness...  
  
  
Taiki found Himeko, wandering slowly towards the door, her coat clutched beneath her chin.  
  
"Are you leaving, Haruzuki-san?"  
  
"Hai." she said, her back to him, and Taiki thought he could detect a faint tremor in her voice.  
  
"How is Seiya?"  
  
A long pause.  
  
"He's all right now. His fever just broke."  
  
A ghost of a smile crossed Taiki's face, "Yokatta. Do you want me to walk you home?"  
  
Now she turned to him, and smiled. But the smile was a false one.  
  
Taiki was shocked to see tears shining in her eyes... which behind the smile were filled with a deep pain, "Iie... Daijoubu. Thank you anyway."  
  
She opened the door and walked out, shutting it quietly, leaving Taiki standing silently in the doorway behind her...  
  
And so the beginning of the end starts...  
  
Who will be the one to live with a broken heart in the end... ?  
  
A few days later found Yaten stretching and yawning luxuriously in his dressing room chair that sat before his mirror. With Seiya being sick, they had had to cancel several group appearances, and made up for them by doing individual ones, when they were available.  
  
Life, in general, could be incredibly exhausting sometimes. And when one had two different lives...  
  
It sometimes made him wonder how they were managing to keep going.  
  
Of course, it helped that the Enemy hadn't made their move yet. He had little doubt though that they could sense the bright stars filling this planet, as he could. This planet was one of the last big concentrations of bright stars left in the galaxy.  
  
The rest of it was dark. No light left in the rest of the galaxy. Just blackness.  
  
It was a godsend to this planet's inhabitants to be located so far on the edge of the galaxy. They had no idea what a state their galactic cradle was in. They were like a tiny island in the middle of an ocean with no civilization for miles around, carrying on with their happy, ignorant little lives and affairs, while just beyond the horizon a horrible, unspeakable, monstrous invasion force was making its way over the waves toward them. To come and crush their little island into submission, looting and destroying and burning and raping their civilization, violating it with their darkness until there was nothing left of the original, happy, ignorant little island...  
  
Rape. That was the best way to describe it. The galaxy was being raped.   
  
Their planet had been raped.  
  
How utterly disgusting.   
  
It made him feel unclean.  
  
Yaten opened the drawer of his vanity and pulled a towel out. He began rubbing at his face viciously.  
  
He hated stage makeup.  
  
Now that he thought of it, he hated a lot of things...  
  
Taiki would frown if he knew what state of mind he was in that day. But Yaten didn't care. He felt the urge to indulge himself in his pessimistic thoughts alone for a few minutes. The screaming freaks called their "fans" put him in that mindset. How foolish they were. How could they be so rash? How could they say that they loved him when they didn't even know him? Didn't even know the REAL him. They didn't love him for who he truly was, just for his looks, or voice or... It made him sick. How could those girls be so stupid? So IGNORANT? Didn't they realize what was going to happen? Didn't they REALIZE... ?  
  
He began to almost wish the Enemy would make a move. It would give him something else to do at least, rather than sit here, chasing dark thoughts around his mind.  
  
A second later, he was consumed with a feeling of intense regret for even thinking that.  
  
Because a second later, he sensed that the Enemy HAD made a move...  
  
And Haruzuki Himeko, who had an unusually bright starseed for an ordinary person, was the target...  
  
Seiya glanced over the song sitting before him on the table, and sighed a sigh of complete and utter accomplishment. He had finally finished it. The song was finished, and it was absolutely perfect.   
  
He had finished it while he was recovering from his fever. After it had broken, the horrible visions had finally left him. They had been both a blessing and a curse. They had inspired him with all number of things to finish the song, but now all he wanted to do was forget them. They had been at once horribly beautiful and disturbing. If he ever wanted his steady, cool, and happy demeanor back, he'd have to forget them.  
  
Otherwise, he would dwell on them, and he would be crushed with the weight of his emotions.  
  
In fact, he was going to forget them right now.  
  
Deciding this, he put them out of his mind and turned his thoughts back toward his song. His masterpiece. He couldn't wait to show it to the other two, when they got home from whatever they were doing.  
  
Picking up his guitar, he began to pluck out the guitar line. It took him a minute to get warmed up, and then the music poured out, flowing around him like water, weaving in and out, creating the perfect melody for his perfect song, tying and twisting like a spell...  
  
His headset beeped.  
  
It took a minute for the sound to register in his head. He hadn't heard it in so long. He wanted to treat it more like the sound of a pager or a cell phone. Perhaps life on earth was making him soft...  
  
The headset beeped again.  
  
He leaped to his feet, suddenly fully realizing that it was his HEADSET that was beeping. As in, the headset that was for Senshi business.  
  
Stumbling over his guitar, which he then flung onto the couch, but miscalculated a little and flung it nearly OVER the couch instead, he charged across the apartment to his room, sliding on a hall carpet as he went. Screeching to a halt in front of his bedroom door, he raced in and stepped on a drumstick, snapping it in half. Throwing his pillow aside and knocking a poster off the wall in the process, he picked it up from his bed and put it on.  
  
"I'm here." he said into it.  
  
"SEIYA!! WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU!?" shouted Healer from the other end, causing Seiya to move the earpiece as far away from his ear as he could get it. "We've got a big problem here!! And where the %$*@ing hell were you!?"  
  
"I think that's a little trivial right now." Seiya replied, slightly annoyed, "The Enemy?"  
  
"A Phage."   
  
Seiya paled slightly.   
  
Dear God no... not before we've found Her...  
  
"I'll be right there..." Seiya said, cutting off the communication. He didn't want to talk about what they were going to have to do. Without her... they...  
  
He pulled out his henshin star and shouted, "FIGHTER STAR POWER, MAKE-UP!!" There was a sound like a loud twang and the room shifted slightly as the sensation of transforming washed over him. An instant later, she looked herself over and realized that it had been a long time since she had reverted to her female form. Almost two weeks.  
  
Why?   
  
She couldn't remember.  
  
Opening a window, she flipped up onto the roof. Tapping her headset to set it to a tracking signal, she set off in search of the Phage.  
  
However, after a moment, she shut off the tracking signal.  
  
The trail of carnage would lead her right to it.  
  
Sailor Heavy Metal Papillon was scared out of her wits. She was being chased by two mad senshi. She recognized them as the ones that had fled that one planet that she had helped Galaxia-sama destroy along with the other Animamates. But what were they doing here?  
  
She turned on them like a cornered beast and fired her bracelets at them. Their eyes widened, and they leaped away from the beams as if they were terrified for their lives. She flapped her wings and sailed up onto a streetlight above their heads.  
  
"Galaxia-sama would promote me if I brought home YOUR starseeds!!"  
  
"Go to Hell!!" the shorter silver-haired senshi yelled.  
  
"Maa maa... How rude!!" Papillon taunted back, grinning wickedly as she watched her Sailorphage sneak up behind the pair.  
  
"MELODYYYYYYYYYY!!" came a high-pitched scream from the Phage, as she raised her hands to attack the two senshi...  
  
  
Fighter paused as she heard a high-pitched wailing from an alley. Leaping from the roof of a building into the alley, she landed between a Sailorphage and her two comrades. Almost without thinking, she pointed a finger in the Phage's face and shouted, "STAR SERIOUS LAZER!!"  
  
The attack at point-blank range sent the Phage flying into the wall that was barely 10 feet away, cracking it hard against the brick.  
  
Fighter then turned to see Papillion standing on top of a street light, looking terrified.  
  
"Where did YOU come from!?" she shouted, "WHY ARE ALL OF YOU HERE!?"  
  
"We came here... to take back what you stole!!" Fighter yelled, preparing to aim another attack at the Animamate.  
  
"EEEEEEEEEK!!" Papillion screamed, "Sailormelody!! Take care of them!!" An antique phone booth appeared behind her and she scrambled into it. It vanished in a beam of light.  
  
Behind the three Starlights, the Phage was extracting itself from the wall. The blast had heavily damaged its face, rendering its left eye useless. But it could still fight...  
  
"ME-LO-DY!! Play with me!!" it sang in an annoying voice. It pulled out some pen-shaped spears and threw them at the Starlights, who dodged out of the way.  
  
Fighter's heart was broken over what they would have to do. Without Her, there was no way to change the human back. But if they didn't do something, the Phage could cause many casualties. They had only one choice:  
  
To kill the Phage.  
  
The least they could do was let it die as a human.  
  
"Healer, you take it from its blind side, on the left. Maker, you take it from behind. I'll take it from the front." she told her comrades.  
  
"Fighter... you do know this is an innocent human right?" Healer asked quietly.  
  
"I understand that. I know what we have to do."  
  
"But Fighter, you don't know who..."  
  
Maker cut Healer off with a wave of her hand, shaking her head. They couldn't tell her...  
  
The three Starlights took up their positions, all the while dodging the ridiculous attacks from the Phage.   
  
Healer went first, shouting, "STAR SENSITIVE INFERNO!!" The Phage didn't even have enough time to glance to its left before it was consumed in a storm of electricity. Its body seized up as it screamed in pain, paralyzed by the volts running through its body. Suddenly, it collapsed to its knees as it was blasted from behind by Taiki's attack.  
  
Fighter drew a deep breath, hesitating only a moment as her conscience stung her, then she screamed her attack with all of her soul and fired...  
  
As the Phage let out a dying scream, its outer skin cracked, and then exploded away from it, revealing the human it had once been...  
  
Fighter's eyes widened in horror as she felt her heart shatter in her chest...  
  
Himeko...  
  
The now-black starseed that hovered above her head broke into a million pieces, which then vanished. Himeko collapsed to the ground, clutching her chest.  
  
"Himeko... HIMEKO!!" Fighter screamed as she ran over and lifted her off the ground, "Hold on!! You'll be all right!! JUST HOLD ON!!"  
  
Himeko opened her ruby eyes and stared passed Fighter's face, "Oh... Seiya... it's you... I can't see you anymore... everything's all black..." a tremor crept into her voice.  
  
"It's okay... everything's okay..." Fighter said, trying to hold back the tears that were beginning to flow down her cheeks.  
  
"Ah... ii desu... the song... Is the song finished?" she breathed her words heavily.  
  
Fighter nodded, then choked out, "Hai."  
  
"Yokatta..." she whispered quietly, "I hope... I hope your 'princess' hears it..."  
  
And then she breathed her last.  
  
Fighter shuddered violently as Himeko fell still, then whispered, "Iya... don't die..." She raised her eyes to the sky and screamed.  
  
"Princess!! PRINCESS!! SAVE HER!!"  
  
But no answer came...  
  
When reality hits, it's the most painful heartbreaker of all...  
  
All autopsy reports indicated that Haruzuki Himeko had died of massive heart failure. It was a real puzzle to many doctors, because Haruzuki was so young and perfectly healthy. They couldn't understand what had happened to her.  
  
The day before her funeral, Threelights had been scheduled to put on a concert. Seiya still felt horrible, but he decided to go on with it. And the other two decided to allow him to sing his song, entitled "Nagareboshi e" as a sort of memorial thing for Himeko.  
  
"Hontou? No violent objections this time?" he asked, slightly sarcastic.  
  
Yaten gave him a look.  
  
"We'll try it out once. If it attracts the Enemy's attention, you have to deal with all of them at once."  
  
Seiya smiled gratefully, "Arigatou. Both of you."  
  
And so, the went on to do the concert. Before Seiya sang his song, he announced it specially.  
  
"This song is dedicated to a very dear friend of mine, who helped me write it, and passed away yesterday. It's also dedicated to a precious person."   
  
He took a deep breath, and then sang his very soul out...  
  
And all efforts have a reward, even if it's just to give hope to the most important person...  
  
Somewhere, deep within a darkness, a figure stirred. She lifted her head, her long red hair flowing down her back. She had heard something. Something precious and familiar. A voice coming from a heart that she knew well. She listened intently for a moment, and then tears of happiness welled up in her ruby-colored eyes and she smiled.  
  
"Healer... Maker... Fighter... At last!! At last you've come!!" cried Princess Kakyuu happily.  
  
  
At the funeral, Seiya spent most of his time contemplating Himeko and how he had felt about her. He decided that he had loved her on some level. Not romantically, not the way he loved his princess, but he loved her as a dear friend. And something about her had really reminded him of his princess. Something that he couldn't quite put his finger on. It was almost as if she were a reflection of the princess, seen through water and smoke. It was still her reflection, but it wasn't quite her...  
  
  
On the way back from the funeral, Threelights were swamped with "sympathizers" in the airport as they got off their plane. They were all SO SORRY that their friend had died, and oh, would you give us an autograph? The three were very exhausted, and Seiya was getting more and more snappish with each passing minute.  
  
So this is why Yaten hates the fans... Seiya thought to himself. They really WERE so insincere and... It was beginning to make him sick.  
  
"MOVE!! YOU'RE IN OUR WAY!!" He shouted at one wayward group of fans as he shoved through them. The girls were shocked. Seiya had never yelled at fans before...  
  
As the three walked along, Yaten and Taiki walked slightly ahead to give Seiya some space. He was glad of it. He was too busy burying himself in his dark thoughts to be bothered by them.  
  
I can't get close to anyone else on this planet, he told himself. Galaxia is targeting people, and I can't bear to go through that again. Besides, it only distracts from the mission and makes Taiki and Yaten angry. I can't make friends with these people. All I need to focus on is the Princess...  
  
Seiya almost didn't notice the blonde girl clutching the arm of a tall guy until she had almost passed by him. But something that he felt from her heart made him whirl around and look back at her.  
  
Her hair was the color of sunlight, her skin light like white rose petals. She glanced back at him briefly, and her blue eyes sparkled like intelligent jewels.  
  
And her shine was brighter than anyone's...  
  
And from this fateful meeting, a new life began...  
  
Despite the promise he made to himself, his heart was drawn to hers.  
  
For within her, he had found another reflection of Her soul...  
  
To Niiyama Shiho: May she have become a shining star in the heavens.  
  
Japanese Translation Glossary:  
  
Iie - means "No." It's a more formal(or serious) way of saying "no".  
Oi - means something like "Hey." or "Yo."  
Iya iya - means "No, no." as well, but this is more like an interjection(less serious) way to say "no".  
Arigatou - means "Thank you."  
Hayaku - means roughly "Hurry up!!"  
Akiyama(the name of the manager's secretary) - means "Autumn Mountain"  
-san - A suffix that is the equivalent to "Mr." or "Ms."  
Hai - means "Yes."  
Fuyuboshi(the manager's name) - means "Winter Star"  
Wai - is a common sound effect for sighing or screaming schoolgirls. It means something like "Wow!!" or "Yay!!"  
Kami-sama - means roughly "Oh God." or "Dear God."  
Kinmokusei - can be translated as "The Planet Kinmoku" or "Fragrant Olives". In the case that I use it, it means the latter.  
Kanpeki - means "Perfect."  
Sugoi - means "Incredible." or "Impressive."  
Haruzuki Himeko(the name of the lyricist) - means "Spring Moon Princess Child"  
Hontou? - means "Really?"  
Nani. - means "What."  
Hai hai - literally means, "Yes, yes.", but it's a more annoyed way of answering someone that means something like "Yeah, yeah."  
Wakatteiru yo - means "I know!!" or "I understand!!"  
Jaa - roughly means "See ya."  
Nandemonai yo - means "Nothing." or "It's nothing."  
Suki yo - means "I love you!!"   
Daisuki yo - means "I really love you!!"  
Daijoubu - means "Are you all right?" when posed as a question, and "I'm all right." when posed as a statement.  
Gomen nasai - means "I'm very sorry." and is a more formal(serious) way of saying "sorry".  
Ii da na - roughly means "It's okay.", and is a slightly more masculine way of speaking.  
Moshi moshi - means "Hello?". It's used only when answering the phone (and occasionally as a way to get someone's attention).  
Onegai - means "Please"  
Baka - means "Stupid!!" or "Idiot!!" or "Silly!!"  
Yokatta - means "I'm glad." or "That's good."  
Maa maa - roughly means "Oh my!!" or a just in-general annoyed sound.  
ii desu - literally means "That's good."  
  
"Nagareboshi e":  
  
Your strong scent, I'm always (searching for it)  
Can you hear my voice calling out (I love you so)  
Where are you now (Moonlight Princess)  
My lovely princess  
Answer me, answer for me  
Right away, answer for me  
Answer me, answer for me  
So gently, answer for me  
  
Notes:  
  
This fic is based solely on the anime version of Stars. In the fic, I state that single "Todokanu Omoi ~ My Friend's Love" was the Lights' debut single. This is not true for the manga(they explicitly state that "Nagareboshi e" was their debut single there), but for the anime, I'm not sure if it's true or not. The first song that they have in the anime is "Todokanu Omoi", and in a later episode they are shown recording "Nagareboshi e" for the first time. But they never say whether or not either one was their debut single. So I sort of just assumed "Todokanu Omoi" was it.  
  
The opening scene of this story(where the Starlights first use their male forms) was actually concocted by my dear friend Elisha, who is a major Lights fan, and one day was speculating about what it was like for the Lights on their first couple of days on earth. I thought it was very funny and promised to write it down one day. Instead, I discovered that it made the perfect opening scene for my fic. BIG HUGGLES ELISHA!!  
  
I used so much Japanese in this story because it IS a dedication to Niiyama Shiho. I wanted to help people remember her, and I was hoping that those of you who have heard her voice could imagine her saying these lines. So I used as much Japanese as I possibly could without making it totally incomprehensible and/or without breaking the rules of combining Japanese and English words in one sentence(which I would REALLY hate to do...).  
  
The three staff people who work around the Lights, Akiyama, Fuyuboshi, and Haruzuki(Himeko) have autumn, winter, and spring, respectively, in their family names(last names). I like using seasons in names(I've done it before in another fic), and I stole the idea from the Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne anime, that has four characters(policemen) that have the seasons in their names.   
  
My implication that Yaten could possibly commit suicide partially belongs to my friend Elisha again, and partially belongs to an author friend of mine by the name of Saylor Sun. They both use a Yaten that had a very messed up childhood and had to watch his parents die when he was 5, and thus is a little depressed. Yaten fans, please don't be mad at me!! I think it's a really cool character touch!!  
  
The translation of the verse of "Nagareboshi e" is courtesy of Alex Glover.  
  
Himeko's name is a special symbolism, because it basically means, "Princess", and the whole point of the story is that she is supposed to be a "reflection" of Kakyuu's soul, and thus have something about her which reminds Seiya of his "princess". Which is why later in the fic, he mistakes her for his delirious visions of Kakyuu and kisses her.  
  
As for Yaten complaining about stage makeup, that was a little bit of me in there. As much as I love the stage, and acting, I REALLY HATE stage makeup!! It's really gross!!  
  
I decided to use Sailor Heavy Metal Papillon as the Animamate in this story because Sailor Iron Mouse didn't seem to have any idea who the Lights were when they appeared in the first episode of the Galaxia arc, so I didn't think it would make any sense for the Lights to have attacked her before that episode. I'm pretty sure she would have remembered. Papillon is an Animamate from the manga, and I adapted her for my fic. Here's what to pretend: Pretend that she pissed Galaxia off that day and got bumped off, and Sailor Iron Mouse took over for her. There!! Now my stupid little timeline works!!  
  
(Special Additional Note: If any of you subscribe to Smile, Mixx Entertainment's shoujo manga anthology, check out the letter section of the December issue. See that letter in the bottom left-hand corner send in by someone named Marina? That's me ranting... *sweatdrop* But I'll tell you something!! They edited together the worst bits from my letter and made me sound like a complete idiot. The things that they actually printed wasn't the main point of the letter. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... If you're interested in seeing the whole letter, which I doubt you are, email me and I'll send you a copy.)  
  
My Thank-yous:  
  
Thanks to Elisha (my Starlights advisor), Lizzie (a reader!!), Heather (a genki girl), Farha (an ego booster!!), and Scheree (my musical buddy!!), my dear friends!! You are going to have SO much trouble getting rid of me!! You guys are all so great!! THANK YOU!! (Special thanks to Elisha for letting me use her funny scene!! THANK YOU!! *huggles*)  
  
Thanks to Alex Glover for the pieces of song translations. You're doing the fans a real service!! Thank you for serving your anime/manga community!!  
  
A big thanks to Takeuchi Naoko for creating such wonderful characters, and for somehow creating an anime revolution with one of the most lucrative story ideas of the modern world. Enjoy your retirement and marriage, dear. You deserve it!!  
  
A special thanks to Niiyama Shiho. You willingly gave a piece of your soul to pen and ink, and created something miraculous. Wherever you are, I wish you peace and happiness.  
  
And that's that!! This fic is FINALLY DONE!! It took me about half a year to finish it, and it's DONE DONE DONE!! Augh... and now I have a sequel to this fic in the planning stages called "Only On Earth". Keep an eye out for it and thank you for reading!!  
  
Profound thought of the day:  
"Being a voice actor means giving a character a little piece of your soul; breathing life into a character, so it can live, and breathe, and have a soul of its own. Once a character has a voice, it truly comes alive, and you become that character's creator. You give it life, you become its god, and they become your avatar."  
- A profound thought I had while doing the dishes (It's weird. I seem to have a lot of profound thoughts when I'm doing the dishes).  
  
Email: meiryosa@hotmail.com  
Send me questions and comments!! I love hearing from people!!  



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